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We Want to Work With You

This is an example website. We now want you to contact us. Rather than provide a simple telephone number or email address, we'll force you to fill in a complex questionnaire. You'll need to answer every question we can think of because every field will be mandatory:

city
This could be the view from our office. It's not, but it could be. If you pay us enough.
  1. What's your budget?
  2. Could we squeeze you for a little more?
  3. Can we access your bank account and check?
  4. Do you have any more cash in your pocket?
  5. What's your favorite cheese?
  6. Do you have any dietary requirements?
  7. How much do you love us?
  8. Can we quote you on our website?
  9. Can we massage the meaning of your feedback to suit our requirements?
  10. Yeah, OK - give us an overview of your project. In a sentence. Preferably a word. Not that we care – we'll do our own thing anyway.
city
Yes, it's another impressive city scape but we actually work from a little office on the edge of an industrial estate.

Form frustration

It'll take you three hours to fill in our contact form. It will fail when you hit SUBMIT because we neglected to check something trivial. You'll panic and hit Back only to see a "this page is no longer available". Yep, you'll have lost everything.

Shocking sales

Completing our contact form is irrelevant.

Despite being a tech company, our website doesn't link with our sales systems. Even if it did, the sales team would ignore your brief because reading it is too much effort. We'll get one of our less able imbeciles to contact you directly so you can give us all the information again.